Reading

 Reading and writing are two of my most favourite hobbies, two of my go-to things when I'm stressed or tired or bored, and my two first-listed hobbies on CV's, job applications and anything else that requests 'hobbies'. For most of my childhood I recall writing songs, stories and poems, while in the midst of forming a band and longing trees, sleepovers with my friends and studying to be a teacher and a nurse, a midwife and all the other careers I had dreamed of. For a few years I dipped in and out of writing, I had doubts quietly approved and encouraged by some who should have been providing encouragement and this put me off. I wasn't good enough and I never would be. I needed to get a 'real' job instead of spending time on daft hobbies. I read less and spent more time working, eventually sliding into a career in care. At one stage I was working three jobs in order to support myself and I still never seemed to have money, I was tired all the time and I wasn't happy. These was a very sad period in my life, and I had no hobbies to distract myself from my seemingly dismal existence. At the time it appeared to me that I was actually happy, and what I was doing was beneficial to my life instead of detrimental to my health and my social circle. 

 One long and (in places) slightly sad story later I'm in a better place physically, emotionally and financially. I'm able to read more, to write more and spend more time with myself, and with saying that I've finally decided to set myself a very loose 'resolution' for 2016. 

 My plan for this year is to read more. I'm aiming for 100 books by the end of December, but I'm positive I can probably almost double that. I'm going to write more - be it prose, a blog or non fiction it'll be down on paper. Most importantly I'm going to make sure I'm spending time keeping myself happy. I've spent far too much time being concerned with others, other people who don't have the same respect for me that I do for them, people who completely take advantage of others kindness. Those people will probably never truly be happy because of their reliance on other people. 

 As much as I have a vague idea, I don't know what this year holds for me exactly. But the more I find out I know I'm looking forward to seeing where I am in January 2017!

2016! 353 days to go! (I think)

 Reading and writing are two of my most favourite hobbies. Two of my go-to things when I'm stressed or tired or bored, and my two first-listed hobbies on CV's, job applications and anything else that requests 'hobbies'. For most of my childhood I recall writing songs, stories and poems, while in the midst of forming a band and longing trees, sleepovers with my friends and studying to be a teacher and a nurse, a midwife and all the other careers I had dreamed of. For a few years I dipped in and out of writing, I had doubts quietly approved and encouraged by some who should have been providing encouragement and this put me off. I wasn't good enough and I never would be. I needed to get a 'real' job instead of spending time on daft hobbies. I read less and spent more time working, eventually sliding into a career in care. At one stage I was working three jobs in order to support myself and I still never seemed to have money, I was tired all the time and I wasn't happy. These was a very sad period in my life, and I had no hobbies to distract myself from my seemingly dismal existence. At the time it appeared to me that I was actually happy, and what I was doing was beneficial to my life instead of detrimental to my health and my social circle. 

 One long and (in places) slightly sad story later I'm in a better place physically, emotionally and financially. I'm able to read more, to write more and spend more time with myself, and with saying that I've finally decided to set myself a very loose 'resolution' for 2016. 

 My plan for this year is to read more. I'm aiming for 100 books by the end of December, but I'm positive I can probably almost double that. I'm going to write more - be it prose, a blog or non fiction it'll be down on paper. Most importantly I'm going to make sure I'm spending time keeping myself happy. I've spent far too much time being concerned with others, other people who don't have the same respect for me that I do for them, people who completely take advantage of others kindness. Those people will probably never truly be happy because of their reliance on other people. 

 As much as I have a vague idea, I don't know what this year holds for me exactly. But the more I find out I know I'm looking forward to seeing where I am in January 2017!

New Year, New Motivation!

One of the hardest feelings to deal with in life, in my opinion, would have to be the feeling of inadequacy. The feeling that no matter what you do there's always someone who can do better. You write a blog? They've started one too and can write better than you. You've travelled Europe? They've travelled the world. But on the other end of the scale there's also those people who always have to be worse off than you. You've got the cold? They've got flu. You're having a bad day? They're having a bad month. You've lost your job and suddenly their marriage has broken up, they've lost their house and their job. And their dog. 

 I have always wondered why people like this genuinely exist. People who always have to be better off or worse off than you. I'm not quite sure what it is that leads to people having these feelings - maybe it's their own feelings of inadequacy. Surely as people we should be celebrating each other's achievements and supporting each other through harder times. At the end of the day you can never compare your problems to someone else's. Everyone deals with things differently and what might seem like the end of the world as you know it might just be a tiny blip on someone else's horizon. Your problem could be the beginning of new things, but for someone else they don't have a clue how they're ever going to go on. Everybody is different. 

 A huge potentially life changing (actually it's definitely life changing) decision in my work life has led to me aiming for something I never thought I'd ever attempt. And because of this potential for my success I've spent a lot of time talking to my colleagues about what they'd like to do if they ended up out of a job in care. Most of them seemed to be quite interested in pursuing an older interest or a newly formed interest - some of them stated they wouldn't want to go back into the job that they're in just now. Some of them are dreaming of pursuing goals they set when they were younger. It's nice to see people being positively re-motivated.

Although it makes you really wonder why do some people never think of the consequences of their actions on other people?