I have a really strange phobia.
I'm scared of all the usual things - ghosts, scary movies, snakes, adulthood - I'm a little more nervous than most, and I do know that I scare a lot easier than some of my friends and family member do. Most of my phobias tend to boil down to one common fear - I'm afraid of getting hurt or seriously injured and potentially dying.
Watching films that scare me sends my already highly active imagination into overdrive. I've seen me working a nightshift and panicking during it that there's vampires or zombies kicking about outside of the residential unit I work in. I fear looking into the darkened windows of the individual homes of the residents and am even more afraid of looking out to the outside world in case I see one of the fictional vampires I am so afraid of. Random and unexplained noises get me, as do the silly sudden pains I experience as a part of my body continually working to replenish and grow and change itself.
In short, I'm a total shitebag.
The oddest fear that I have is the fear of running out of something to do. I put off reading new magazines and books I've bought for the fear of what they'll bring - sadness when they finish, a waste of time if I don't enjoy them or find them helpful and boredom when I run out of things to do. It occurred to me that I need to find some way to deal with this when I recently picked up a magazine I'm sure I only bought a week or three ago to find that actually it was the very outdated August 2015 version of that particular publication. I know in my head that there's a very unlikely chance that I'll ever run out of books and magazines to read, not when they're being printed so regularly, but the irrational and partly idiotic part of my brain tells me that this is a possibility!
I've currently got a 'December' copy of a magazine sitting in my room, alongside another 23 books that are in my 'yet to read' pile. Some of them I'm nervous for reading in case I don't enjoy them, but more of them are unread due to this stupid and totally ridiculous silly fear I have. I know that life is short and you should never take it for granted, maybe that's partly one of my reasonings for not reading all those books. If I didn't enjoy one the nosy person within me would force myself to continue reading in order to find out what happens to the characters. Studying people is one of the pleasures in my life that will never get old!
People quite often are wonderful, irrational and pointless fears are not.
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